Another Upside-down Day.

This might sound so selfish but...

Happy Ramadhan to all.
Today is the fifth . Alhamdulillah I have given the opportunity to fast again 
this year .

There is a however's , unfortunately .
I know I have been messed up and miserable these few days .
The feeling of depression stuck up inside and I can barely breath .

I might noticed the few expressions of people that see me like this will said ,
"Kau ingat kau sorang je la ada masalah ? Muka monyok semedang ? kau ingat
kau je la dalam dunia ni layak bersedih macam tu ? Dan kau expect orang lain
pun datang kat kau dan pujuk kau je la ?"

Yeah , it hurts . But , it's true .
Maybe I'm being bloody messy after all .
'Cause I don't give people a break to comfort me all the time .
Maybe that's what I DON'T NEED AFTER ALL .

I just need to be alone .
Run away from this life .
Living in a cabin anywhere near nowhere .
Hearing the sound of cricket singing .
Star-gazing alone at night .
Doing absolute nothing during the day .
Wake up at Fajr and feeling peaceful .

SubhanAllah .
How I wish I could run away , but who am I to do these kind of things ?

And which hurts me more .
A one friend , she used to call me her 'best friend' back then . I don't know how to 
say this . She's like ignoring me or something ? Hmmm , this whole day she didn't look 
at me , at all ! Can you imagine . The friend that we always shared almost everything , 
suddenly turned out to be a completely stranger to us ? Ouch . I don't know where is 
my wrong , what's my lacking of what-not , this is just sudden . But after all ,
DESERVE THIS KIND OF IGNORANCE . Yes , I should expected this earlier .

Like seasons , people changed .

And now I understand . She had someone to replace me .

It hurts , eh ?

Sheesh , being too emotional takes a lot of courage to keep ourselves from shedding
a tear ey ? Ha-ha . Tell me about it .

Despite all , I NEED to stay STRONG .
During this Ramadhan , I have a lot to work out and changes to be done .

If I ever turn upside down some more , just ignore me . I know , I'm being too emo .
I just need some time to figure things out . Sorry .

This have given me strength , somehow :')

Kerana aku tahu  , ALLAH sentiasa bersamaku .
La Tahzan . InsyaALLAH everything will be okay in the end .

keys off ~ :)